ABSTRACT
This autoethnographic chapter explores the complex experiences of an immigrant doctoral student during the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly one who juggles multiple roles in everyday life. Personal narratives offer insights into how I balanced my duties to work as an immigrant early childhood (EC) educator, support remote schooling for two children, manage household chores, continue with my aspirations to pursue a doctoral degree, and maintain personal emotional-mental health challenges. To reflect on my lived experiences, visual images are used as provocations to facilitate the self-inquiry process. Drawing upon Appadurai's theory helped me examine factors influencing my decision-making capacity, wellbeing and identity as an immigrant EC educator, researcher, and mother during the pandemic. My story demonstrates the role of aspirations and imaginations on my wellbeing and identity, particularly as a source of motivation to overcome grief and depression. The purpose is to raise awareness about the unbalanced journeys of immigrant doctoral students and create a research community that is supportive, avoids judgement, and privileges open discussions of immigrant doctoral students' wellbeing. © The Editor(s) (if applicable) and The Author(s), under exclusive license to Springer Nature Singapore Pte Ltd. 2022.